Tuesday, May 16, 2006

All your uteruses are belong to us

Forever Pregnant
New federal guidelines ask all females capable of conceiving a baby to treat themselves -- and to be treated by the health care system -- as pre-pregnant, regardless of whether they plan to get pregnant anytime soon.
I see the next logical steps as:
1) pre-pregnancy camps where we keep potentially pregnant women feed and in shape in compliance with the health requirements
2) Potential jail sentences and fines for women who in some way act to bring potential harm to their uteruses (that is, breaking the "America Loves Babies Act", a pre-fetal protection law that also allows for the drilling of ANWR)
3) Ensuring that the potential mates for these women undergo adequacy testing to make sure they have they meet the prerequisite genetic standards - of course this entails a segmentation of the population in those who are certified and non-certified pre-fathters.
4) Yearly highly ritualized procreation and birthings sessions

of course all this will require all the other necessary social adaptations as documented, for further specifications, see Handmaidens Tale, The.

Or am I crazy?

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