Modern Conservativism

Explained

At its heart, the modern Republican election machine is nothing more than a scam to put money in the pockets of right-wing billionaires. It works like this: the rich conservatives don't want their taxes raised, so they want to keep Democrats out of office at all costs. That means they have to elect Republicans. But the problem is, the demographic for people who want to cut rich peoples' taxes just ain't very big. This is where the conservative 'values voters' come in. The rich Republican elite promise to end abortion, ban gay marriage and seal off the U.S-Mexico border, even though they have zero intention of following through on any such promises. Once elected, they swiftly cut taxes and then do their best to ignore the concerns of the Christian right. In the past, they've blamed their inactions on obstructionist Democrats, activist judges or Bill Clinton's penis. But now that they've controlled all three branches of the federal government for the past four years, they're running out of excuses.